Life update. I haven’t written in awhile so I thought I’d share what’s been going on. Not sure really where to start. I feel like my life has been moving so fast but also so slow. Moving to Arizona felt like only a few months ago but it’s been almost 2 years. How did that happen?
I’ve been kinda slacking on my own personal self care in terms of exercise and diet. I’m aware of this. Right now I’m writing this at 3:41am because I need to get outside at 4am to exercise. Another thing about Arizona I’ve learned, gotta beat the heat. I get to leave for work at 6am to make the 45 min commute. I work at a video/photography studio in Phoenix. It’s great, I get to edit awesome videos and work and meet some incredibly talented people. I love my job, I really do. It can be hard sometimes, working in the creative industry can be tough. Sometimes you want to put your own personal touch on things, but it’s not what the client wants and so you struggle to make a video you’re absolutely happy with. But it’s just all part of the gig. Working on personal projects outside of work is really what keeps the balance.
I met someone, someone who makes me genuinely happy. I wasn’t looking for him, (that’s how it always works) but we found each other. He’s a goof ball like me, which I love. He’s also a video editor so we understand each other on that level. He tells me I’m beautiful every day, which I need to hear because I don’t always tell myself those things. He’s kind to me, and patient. I have a rocky past and I’m not always the most easy person to understand. I don’t understand myself sometimes. In relationships, all I know is disappointment, so part of me is just waiting for that. But that’s not fair to him, I know this. I’m working on that part of me that doesn’t completely trust that this is going to work, and instead just loving to the best of my ability. That’s all I can do. I’m so happy I met him, he makes me feel like I can be the truest version of myself. And we have almost the same love languages, so loving each other almost comes naturally. He’s so supportive of my career and so helpful.
In terms of mental health, I’m doing okay. Not great, just okay. It’s mostly due to my personal health. I NEED to get back outside and moving my body and eating healthier. It’s very important to my mental health that I do those things. The only excuse I have is exhaustion. I’m always tired. Getting out of bed early to work out used to come easy to me, but now I’d rather sleep until I have to leave for work. That’s not me, I don’t like that. Even when I go to bed early, it’s still hard to get up. Not sure what the solution is, if anyone can help or has advice please reach out to me. I need to start reading more of the books I like as well. I noticed when I read poetry and stories about the supernatural (not paranormal) I get this feeling of being connected to everything and that I have a purpose. Which I need that motivation most days to keep going.
I’m still in film school, just taking summer off. My last class I got a 99% grade. Film classes are so much fun for me and I feel like I can’t help but do well. I’ve met some talented people through my classes and I’m trying to make a short film this summer with a group of them.
I’ll be 26 this month. I used to think 26 was so old. Lol. I’m actually excited to get older. It’s just amazing to be here, to be healthy and relatively happy. Being alive is something to be proud of. It may not feel like it sometimes, or that I deserve the things that I have, or that I even belong to this world, but that just means I’m here to change it.
That’s all for now folks (insert porky the pig).
